May 2012
3 posts
Oh Family Guy, How I DON'T Miss You (Benny Del...
Alright, so I know I’m writing about a very popular show with many, many, many viewers. Yes, I was one of them as well; I enjoyed it and watched it frequently. However, I know this has been on my mind for quite a while and I have bored people with my opinions on this issue so now it’s time to grace all of you with it. I must say that this is not to persuade anyone to not watch Family Guy but...
itsmonster asked: Hi , I´m from south america , Perú , and I want to be a volunteer, I´m almost 17 y.o. , how can I be a volunteer?
Nine Types of Rape (Ashley Evans, Peer Advocate)
By state law, rape is vaginal, anal, or oral penetration involving force or threat of force. But there are many subsets and types of rape most people are not aware of. The biggest one is that men can be raped too; women just experience it more and are talked about more. But there are nine different types of rape and below are their descriptors:
· Anger Rape – Anger rape is when the rapist...
April 2012
5 posts
Unpopular Belief #2: Justice Doesn't Mean Jail...
In the United States, there are 311,591,917 people (2011 Census).
There were 579,993 convicted sex offenders. Less than 1 percent of the (US) population is a convicted sex offender. But if a sexual assault is happening (about) every 45 seconds, we’re looking at about 628,992 sexual assaults a year.
I’m sitting here looking at Family Watch Dog, trying to get an idea of how many people are...
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing...
Why not end this exciting month with one more type of treatment that is available to trauma victims and survivors. This therapy is controversial, so take this information as an educating lesson and make your own opinion on it.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, also known as EMDR, stimulates the brain through eye movement to create new associations about a memory. EMDR is most...
Anonymous asked: i was raped when i was 7. me and my mom lived with my aunt and her father. i slept on the living room floor and every night i could feel him slip my pants down but couldnt find the strength to open my eyes. he would make me sit on his lap. if my mom wasnt in the room he would put his hand in my pants. im 13 now. i havent seen him in 2 years. im beginning to have flashbacks & dreams about it. i...
angeluvzs asked: my ex gang raped me with 2 friends Theres time where i hate him for what he did. but there are times where i miss him as a result of the rape I got pregnant had twins who are my world he sent me a letter talking about how he wants to be a family i kno that can nvr happen because of allegatons of him touchin his firstborn now he got another girl pregnant Im worried because he wants to be in my...
Anonymous asked: I was raped by 3 different people in the course of my life, I am 21 years old. I am having such severe flashbacks that I went to look into the mirror a couple of night ago, and saw the man that hurt me, I fought at this image with a razorblade, not realizing that it was just my stupidity...I ended up slicing my hand instead of him. Why does this feel so real, and why wont anything make it go away,...
March 2012
3 posts
Thought Field Therapy
Have you ever heard of Thought Field Therapy or saw the letters TFT? Thought field therapy was developed by and American psychologist named Roger Callahan many believe that it can heal a variety of mental and physical aliments. Through specialized tapping with the finger on medial points on the body and hands, Dr. Callahan “theorized that when a person thinks about an experience or thought...
Psychological Afterlife: After a Sexual Assault
I’ve noticed that there is huge amount of information, on what a victim should or shouldn’t do after a sexual assault or rape. For example, if you plan to report, you shouldn’t shower, eat, drink or use the restroom. The purpose of this blog is to shed some light on the long term effects of sexual assault and rape.
The typical reactions to someone who has been sexually assaulted are as...
Pregnancy & Rape
A topic that keeps frequently coming up in the community is becoming pregnant as a result of being raped. Understandably, with the Republican Presidential hopefuls continually sticking their feet in their mouths in their frantic effort to court the evangelical population, things like birth control, premarital sex, abortion, Planned Parenthood and a vast array of morality issues that have no place...
Anonymous asked: I'm sorry to bother you. I just don't know what to do anymore. I was raped by my brothers best friend - a few times. I'm 15, he's 23 so he's a lot stronger than me, and i'm terrified of him. He got me pregnant, but I miscarried, because of him. I just can't take this anymore. It's torture. I can't stop going over it in my head, I can't forget it....
BDSM & Rape — Is There A Difference? Or A Fine...
Recently, RNJ received a question regarding their sexual relationship. They said, in paraphrase, their sexual relationship was painful, physically and mentally, if BDSM was not at the core of their sexual experiences. I believe that first, I should probably define BDSM for those of you who aren’t familiar with what it is.
BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and...
February 2012
14 posts
The College Campus Rape →
rnj-eduoutreach:
1 in every 4 college-aged women will be victims of rape or attempted rape. With numbers this extreme, one might think that the number of reported rapes on college campuses would be higher. However, of these women, only 10% report their rapes (according to College Connection). So what…
A Broad Horizon →
rnj-eduoutreach:
Statistics has shown that every 2.5 minutes some one is sexually assaulted in the United States 2/3 of those assaults are by someone the victim knows. About 60% of sexual assaults are said to be unreported every year.
There are many reasons women don’t report sexual assaults, but one of the…
Art Therapy
I thought a blog a about art therapy would’ve been a great idea ,especially with the recent launch of the “Release the Taboo Campaign.” Research suggests that art expression helps create a safe “transitional space” that encourages survivors to disclose tramatic memories. (Johnson 1987) Research also suggests that trauma destroys the inner sense of connection with...
Anonymous asked: I have a question that's been bugging me for quite a while now: Is it common or has it happened before, where people that were sexually abused or raped kind of recreate that pain onto themselves sexually? Some stuff happened when I was younger, I wasn't raped or anything and I often feel like I should have been, like I deserved to be raped instead of what actually happened, and...
Anonymous asked: Is it rape or like when you wake in middle of intercourse?
Male Rape Victims & Survivors
2.78 million American men are assaulted every year. Seems like a lot, right? It’s only 3% of Americans. (3% of UK men are also assaulted every year, with 5% of male boys being sexually assaulted every year). That means that 71% of male victims are assaulted before the age of 18, and 16.6% of male victims are assaulted between the ages of 18-24. Similar to female rape victims, there’s a large...
Music Therapy
I thought it would be a great idea to do some research behind how music can be used as a therapeutic tool since many of you are going to be receiving your Sound of Strength CD.
The top search that popped up in my search bar was Music Therapy. I was not aware that this was even available in a professional atmosphere with a Music Therapist. So I went straight to the American Music Therapy...
Women Perpetrators: The Myths
Uncovering the Myth behind Female Perpetrators.
The research I’ve done on this blog is something that I’ve wanted to do for quite sometime now. I was in the library the other day just browsing through books and the title “From Victims to Survivors: Reclaimed Voices of Women Sexually Abused in Childhood by Females” caught my attention. As I began to read, I realized that the common belief of...
Childhood Sexual Abuse (An Overlapping)
My first blog is going to be about adopted children and some of the issues that they face when sexually assaulted by a family member.
Trigger warning: story, wording, familial rape.
In 2007, I was raped at the age of 17 by one of my “adoptive” family members. From the moment I gathered enough courage to tell someone five days later, until the time I left the police station; my life had...
Rape in the Military
For some time now, perhaps with the emergence of rape and sexual assaults in the military making front page news, people have been asking for me to write about rape and sexual assault in the military. Now, before I get into this, please understand that this is a very controversial subject. As a woman and a rape survivor, I am adamantly against any sort of sexual assault or rape.
However,...
Verbal vs. Nonverbal Consent
After writing my blog about the new definition of rape according to the FBI, I was asked the difference between verbal consent and non-verbal consent. Since then, I have been researching about this topic because the dictionary does not decipher between the two. I came across a research article published in 1998 from the Journal of Human Sexuality.
The article explains two ways to define...
Benny Del Castillo Regretfully Says Good Bye
After thinking about this for a while and talking to Ali, I think this is the correct decision for me, atleast at this time. As much as I love RNJ, I think with my life how it is right now, includes school and personal occurrences, I cannot fully do my job as it should be done. It would not be fair to all you guys or the rest of the staff. I will miss RNJ and all the followers very much, I wil...
January 2012
11 posts
Unpopular Belief #1: Rapists Should Not Be...
I’ve tried to remain silent, or neutral, on this particular topic because I know how unpopular my belief is as a survivor. However, I want to explain myself. (If you’re still unclear after reading, shoot me an email or write in the comments, please.) This may be slightly graphic towards the end. Proper genitalia names will be used throughout the piece.
I hold a very unpopular belief...
Sexual Responses During Rape
The below post may cause triggers due to the terms that have to be used to write and explain the blog.
Physiological, or sexual, responses during rape often lead victims to believe that they are less of a rape victim. Sometimes, it makes them question whether it was rape. Other times, they hate their bodies for allowing such a response. However, it is common for males to have an erection or to...
The US Redefines Definition of Rape *Graphic Near...
I do not know if everyone else is aware of this and I am just now reading about it. If this is the case then I am sorry for the delay, however, I just came across an article from Jan. 7th this year posted by Daily News L.A.
The article is regarding the Obama Administration and their recent change to the definition of rape. The previous definition has remained unchanged for over 80 years....
5 tags
Healing Without God
I compare a lot of my healing process from rape as how things were when I got sober. I relied a lot on my family and friends and less on a higher power like God. My fellow addicts would often attack me because I didn’t have a strong higher power and my sobriety hinged on my family and friends support group. Because of this, I was always the odd one out in rehab. Likewise, in all...
Dating After Rape
I’ve seen a frequent theme on the RNJ page and I figured I’d discuss it here. Obviously, the title says “Dating After Rape” and that will be the topic for tonight’s blog.
It took me a couple of years to realize that not every guy that hit on me or flirted with me was going to hurt me. I was mostly secluded, I was a big hermit and I didn’t like to go out...
Anonymous asked: Hi, I had order a tee shirt from you guys on Dec, 21, 2011 and I never got it...I was wonder who do I talk to about that?
8 tags
Airport Security Checkpoints
How many people travel by airplanes? I remember back in the day when we did not have to walk through security to fly on an airplane. I do not mind security and I very rarely complain about having to go through the process, but when my privacy and health are in jeopardy I have to think about all my alternatives.
The whole health issue behind the security checkpoint at airports is kind of old...
Burnt Out? (A Supporter's Perspective)
I was recently asked what you’re supposed to do, as a supporter of a friend/family member who’s been assaulted, when you begin to get burnt out. I wrote another blog, about what to expect as a supporter, when hearing someone’s story for the first time, and I think it’s important that to prevent a burn out, you follow a lot of those steps.
It’s really important...
3 tags
RNJ: Education Outreach Program
The Education Outreach Program is an individual project of Rape is Never Justified that focuses around raising awareness, educating about rape, and educating on healing from a sexual assault.
Mission
1. Provide information for those who aren’t yet involved in the advocacy community for victims of sexual violence to be a voice for others while providing accurate information to help educate...
2 tags
Prison Rape & The Elimination Act (2003)
Prison rape is a form of torture. Much like any other form of rape (whether it’s an acquaintance, a significant other, a family member, etc.). Victims of prison rape are often physically beaten with severe physical wounds and scars, contradicting STD’s or HIV. They’re most often assaulted by the corrections staff. Corrections staff selects victims who are most vulnerable, they’ve previously been...
Anonymous asked: Hi my name is Mellanie. I am a victim of rape. I've struggle with the thought of what happened to me for 4 years now. I am being to question my opinion of what happened to me again. I am telling myself that maybe it wasn't rape. Maybe I should've just left because I knew he was a bad person for me. I've married since my accident and it's beginning to cause a problem in my...
December 2011
3 posts
The Life of Ali Mark: An Activist: A Look At 2011 →
(Ali Mark’s final End of Year/Recap 2011 post!)
alimark-rnj:
So, here’s a quick recap of the blogs from 2011… and as always, my goals for 2012!
This is what I had posted early in 2011, for my goals for the year.
From RNJ, I expect that we will be officially recognized by the government … I hope to see another event in place. I would love to see an…
Volunteer Position Descriptions & Application! →
Hey RNJ family and friends!
It’s that time of year again where we begin hiring. We’ll be hiring until January 8th of 2012, and accept applications until January 1st. We have three traditional positions available and two segmented programs that are new to RNJ in 2012 — The Educational Outreach Program and the International Outreach Program (specifically for those over seas).
For...
November 2011
7 posts
6 tags
Cathy (Peer Advocate) — The Penn State Scandal
I know all of us have been outraged by the scandal this past week at Penn State. The support of Paterno and the media making this about football has angered me to no end. I have however appreciated the debates about legal and moral responsibility this has sparked in the media and communities everywhere, therefore bringing awareness to rape and sexual assault.
One thing I can’t get past...
6 tags
Ali (Founder) — Does Sexual Violence Affect Mental...
Does the age of sexual violence have an affect on how one later develops emotionally or mentally?
As seen in the chart, the Lifetime of Experiences Questionnaire (LEQ) expresses the mental state of the individual in the past year. The Sexual Assault Questionnaire (USE) asks a series of questions about the type of assault (sexual assault, which is defined as having no penetration;...
5 tags
Week of November 2 - November 8, 2011
And so we meet for another jam-packed week!
As many of you have already seen, we have launched the new logo (and here it is again, just in case you missed it).
There were a lot of questions about the logo itself and a lot of mixed emotions. In addition to the release statement made, we wanted to touch on a few of the comments made directly after we released the logo design. A handful of...
4 tags
Jennifer (Public Relations) — Emotions - Feelings...
I have stated previously (in my video post) that I would like people to get more active on my page. I also said that I would be trying something new here to post weekly, or more often. So here it is…
Have you ever looked at a picture with an unbiased view? Do you even understand what that means? Each week I will post a photo or picture that I come across. It could be related to nature, an...
5 tags
Elizabeth (Peer Advocate) — Forget the "Rape...
For some reason, most people hold on to dates of happiness and misery like birthdays. I know that I will always remember my sobriety date. Many victims and survivors will ask about how they are supposed to cope with their rape anniversaries, and that is just a question I can’t answer. The truth is, I don’t remember the exact date of my rape. I know that it was in the summer of 2004 because I...
6 tags
Ali (Founder) — How Does Parenting Affect Sexual...
Note: This is a paper written for a psychology class regarding parenting styles on a specific issue (sexual abuse survivors). If you would like to repost this, please contact me for permission prior to your reposting. It’s about six pages long, so prepare yourself.
Sexual violence is an epidemic in the world. In the United States, there’s a sexual assault every two minutes,...
9 tags
Week of October 26-November 1, 2011
Another blessed (and active) week here at RNJ! And here’s the highlights!
We started off the week by advertising our brand new message boards (or forums)! We had the forums about two and a half years ago and they were a great success. However, we lost reign of them when we moved our domain to a new host and designer and have not yet had the ability to reopen them. I’m extremely...
October 2011
16 posts
5 tags
Elizabeth (Peer Advocate) — Lying
The idea of lying absolutely disgusts me. It literally churns my stomach and makes me nauseated. I was accused by my rapist’s mother of lying about being raped because her son “didn’t need to rape anybody to have sex”. She obviously believed he was capable of it, however, since she moved to the other side of the country once she was aware of what happened because my family was out for blood. ...
4 tags
Jennifer (Public Relations) — NMTAW
I posted earlier this week that it is National Massage Therapy Awareness Week. Therapeutic Massage is a topic that is near and dear to my heart and there are two reasons why I would like to write about massage this week. One: For the fact that it is NMTAW. Two: I had a technical interview for a Massage Therapist job at a spa today.
I wrote about massage before in the past (found here) and I will...
4 tags
Evan (Vice President) — No Means NO! Even When...
When she says no, she means it. Every time. Period.
When you say no pickles at the drive thru and they give you pickles anyways, you’re generally not happy about it, right?
Well it doesn’t always have to just be about consent for sex. Other sexual items have to be consensual as well. I have recently spoken to a friend who tells me that there’s a guy who always makes sexual...
9 tags
Week of October 19-25, 2011
And we meet again for another week with some big updates!
Over the past week, we’ve continued to expand on our new presence here — and one change that won’t be visibly noticeable, but easier in passing. Now, when you type in www.rapeisneverjustified.org, you’ll be directed here!
In the spectrum of blogging, Evan (Vice President) wrote about women in the military and...